What kids are really learning in school?

What kids are really learning in schools? 

#1) When you have a job, but don't feel like doing work, have your mom write a note. Then, you will be excused. 

#2) Thinking and researching is optional, if you don't know something, it's ok. Google it.

#3) If you don't want to do work, just say you have to go to the bathroom. If the teacher won't let you out of class, see rule #1. (Do this for every class, in every subject & you want have to do any work.)

#4) If you are stopped for speeding, just tell the officer, you are dyslexic and can't read so you were not sure what the speed limit was.

#5) If you are ever arrested, just say it's because you are ADD or ADHD and cannot control your behavior or your actions. 

#6) When you are arrested for yelling at, cussing at or walking away from an the police, just tell them you have ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and do not respond well to authority. 

#7) When you are in front of the judge for your sentencing, bring a copy of your IEP or 504 plan to show the judge all the things that you can't do because of your "disability". (This should also be given to your boss, that way he can't make you do work, or anything else that you don't want to do. If this doesn't work, see #1.)

#8) Make sure that your job gives you all of your modifications / accommodations on your IEP or 504 plan to ensure that you are working "at your level". This should include, but is not limited to, a "safe" "cool down" place for when you get angry at your colleagues, someone to read everything that you might be asked to do, a calculator for all math, extended time for tasks, multiple choice answers with 3 of the 4 answers eliminated etc)

9) Anytime you feel "threatened" by your superior because they are asking you to do your job & complete a task, get your parents to attack the person in charge by insulting their character, professionalism & job performance. After all, they are paid with your tax money, they work for you! 

#10) Because of your "disability" or the "hard life" that you have endured, you really shouldn't be working at all. So just stay home and allow the government to pick up the check. It is after all your right! You've "worked" very hard to get through grades K-12.....well, close enough.